Monday, August 4, 2014

I want my money back!

I hope I'm not the only one who feels that the biggest prick to walk the universe, Jordan Belfort, owes me some money back.  His smug face makes me want to vomit in my mouth.


<i>The Wolf of Wall Street</i>'s real Jordan Belfort.
Yes, I did it folks.  I watched The Wolf of Wall Street.  Against the recommendation of my parents, who said it was "all sex and drugs," I wanted to know what all the hype was about.  Granted, I'm nearly a year behind the hype, but cut me some slack, I can't stay awake for a 90 minute movie, much less a 3 hour bag of bullshit.  And who the fuck does this jackass think he is making a 3 hour movie about himself??????

So, here's why I am so angry.  This guy is a despicable human being whose greed and lack of any moral fiber robbed lots of people of their hard earned money.  He's a scam artist.  That's it.  And for some reason, I'm supposed to care about his life's story.  If you haven't seen the movie, don't waste your time or the $6 it costs to rent off Comcast because I would hate to see another dime going to this fucktard, drug addicted, scum bag.  There aren't enough mean words in the vocabulary of the world to express my absolute abhorrence for this man and his stupid friend Donny too.  The whole crew of them.  Here's a quick video to give you an idea of what the ENTIRE THREE HOURS is about...

His complete love of self.  Over indulgence in everything.  There were several moments when I wished that he would just overdose all ready so that the movie would end.  Don't get me wrong, I don't hate drug addicts.  I have a lot of compassion for people who suffer from addiction, but this guy is just a total self-loving, greedy, gluttonous, prideful asshole.  Did you hear the line when he claims that he was "very generous" with his money?  Really?  The hundreds of millions of dollars that you illegally scammed from people's pockets?  Wow!   You deserve a huge pat on the back for sharing.

What blows my mind is that Martin Scorsese actually made this shit bag's life into a movie as if the product had any artistic or cinematic value at all.  There was no growth, no character development, no moral discovery that the character undergoes which would have made the story minutely relateable to an actual human being.  The New York Times wrote a several page spread on him in which the headline's subtitle reads, "You can see why Leonardo DiCaprio wanted to play Jordan Belfort in the movie".   I don't see why anyone would want to pretend to be this douchey of a person.  Does Hollywood think the "little guys" are so envious of their luxurious lives that we actually have nothing better to do than sit around and watch these soulless, shallow, self-agrandizing criminals snorting coke off each others asses and banging prostitutes for 180 minutes?

I'm pissed that I was bamboozled into believing that this was a film of any merit.  I'm pissed that this ass hat wrote a book about his useless and wasted life, and I'm pissed that Hollywood turned it into a movie so that the masses could PAY HIM MORE MONEY, as if he hasn't screwed enough people.  He STOLE over $100 million!  

While he claims that he is a changed man, you can see him get all huffy about being questioned by reporter Liz Hayes in a 60 minutes interview.  Apparently, he's finding ways to avoid paying the reparations to his victims, and Liz is trying to get to the bottom of it. He's crying about "no one ever treating him so horribly", which I can't imagine. Surely there has to be someone besides me in this world who wants to spit in his face or kick him in the balls. I think if I ever met him it would be nearly impossible for me not to throw up on his shoes.

And the best part is that this piece of shit now works as a motivational speaker.  Come on!  What kind of world do we live in that HE actually has FANS?  I just can't take it.

I want my $6 back.  I want my three hours back.  And as far as wanting his life, I wouldn't trade my worst day on earth to be him for even a millisecond, but I wouldn't mind being able to close out my debt to Sallie Mae.  That's all I really want beyond the happy, healthy, and love-filled life I am blessed to have.  There but by the grace of God go I.

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